These last few months, the Lord has got me pondering about what it means to be strong. I confess in part this is because I have felt quite weak this Fall in various ways.
I remember early on in the dating and newlywed years putting my arm in Mike’s after stepping out of the car to walk into a restaurant; He loved to flex his bicep randomly and flash a smile my way as if in part to impress me with his strength, but also to give me a sense of safety as he led me to wherever he was taking me.
In the recent years, after surgery and cancer had progressively taken a toll on his body, from time to time, Mike would say to me, “I’m such a weak man.” It was almost as if he was making an apology. Quickly I assured him that on the contrary, what I saw before me was the strongest man I had ever met.
I saw a man who remained steadfast and surrendered to Jesus in the face of the most difficult news.
I saw a man who remained faithful when his dreams and plans to church plant in Ireland came to a crashing halt.
I saw a man who gave everything he had with such grace and joy, day in and day out, to the people that God had given him to encourage, teach, and evangelize–all while he was suffering with the side effects of chemotherapy and the severe pain resulting from the cancer and massive surgeries.
I saw a man who, despite his physical weakness, would faithfully help put his children to bed, telling them bible stories, praying over them and singing over them.
I saw a man who still took time out to go on lovely dates, though eating was difficult and he couldn’t enjoy the fine dining that he once did.
I saw a man who rested in and trusted the sovereignty of his Lord and Savior with the number of his days.
I’ve observed that there is a tendency in myself to FEEL the strongest mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually in those seasons where life is going smoothly, where God’s blessings are abounding, and when all we can see ahead of us is an exciting adventure. You feel as though you can take on any challenge.
However, I’ve come to discover that TRUE strength is found in the stormy seasons, when life strikes a hard blow, when my plans have been thwarted, when the future is uncertain, when the world appears to be crumbling, and when I’m feeling my weakest. I witnessed this on a daily basis in Mike.
Against all of my human reason and judgment, God seems to use us the most in our weakest moments. He seems to turn life’s tragedies into opportunities.
I have experienced that in these moments where I’ve been at my weakest, when all the strength I’ve carried in the exciting seasons is exhausted through the severest of trials, and when I have difficulty seeing past today, that as I depend upon Him, God steps in and graciously shows me His strength that enables all of us to endure what we could not, to stand when we do not have the capacity, to rest in Him when we think we ought to be working things out for ourselves, and to speak up when we feel we do not have the voice.
9 And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 10 Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
2 Corinthians 12:10
While I greatly miss that sense of love and security I experienced slipping my arm in Mike’s as we walked to the various places he led me to, I have found great love and security when I slip my arm in Jesus’ as He leads me to wherever it is that He is taking me…and oh, when He flexes that bicep…lol…my God is strong!
(Written December 11, 2017)
